New Supermarket Scam

Shoppers Beware! A new scam may have already come to a supermarket near you.

In many stores in our country, whole milk, low-fat milk, and skim milk sell for the same price. Cream, however, is much more expensive. It has come to our ever attentive ears that organized crime has developed an ingenious way to take advantage of this fact: to, in fact, use it to make a profit.

By using advanced and highly illegal technology, crooks buy whole milk and separate the cream. They then resell the milk as skim milk for the same price they originally paid.

An Illegal Cream Separator

Then, these criminals either sell the cream for a significant profit, or—and this is the frightening part—they put it to one of the following nefarious uses:

Nefarious uses of cream? This seems very strange, but there are, in fact, some very, very



  • Since cream is even more slippery than banana peels, it has been used to cause deliberate accidents, train derailments, etc.
  • Because cream is relatively opaque, it has been used to blind victims before robbing them. Whipped cream is particularly effective for this.
  • There are also rumors, currently unsubstantiated, that, because of its high fat content, cream has been used to start fires in several arson cases.

“Melkender Bauer,” Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

“Separator, Klosters bruksmuseum,” by Calle Eklund/V-wolf, CC-BY-SA-3.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

1 Comment

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  1. Sam says:

    I love scams! They make the news so much more exciting than usual, and give me lots of things to worry about. Without scams, life would be so boring. Thank you to the scammers who’ve been making the world an interesting place to live, and thank you, Vim Vocifero, for sharing the ever exciting news of the next big scam. Now, I’m going to buy myself some whole milk…

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