In his groundbreaking paper “Text Boxes Replace Thought Bubbles,” psychologist Dean Tomey showed convincingly that the time-honored thought bubble is steadily being replaced by the text box. Tomey’s twenty-year study involved fMRI, EEG, and PET scans of thinking subjects of a variety of ages and cultures. These neuroimaging techniques revealed that 93% of thinkers over […]
The Unlimited Internet Sales Corporation (UISC) recently introduced a new category of membership: sub-prime. This new category joins UISC’s current categories of outstanding, superior, excellent, and good enough. Okay, you might say—so what? Well, this new level of membership offers several important advantages: It’s free. While even ‘good enough’ membership requires a monthly fee, sub-prime […]
You probably don’t like mosquito bites. In our opinion, they are itchy and irritating. But there is a solution. Rather than letting the mosquitoes eat you, eat them first. If you’re not convinced of the imminent danger of mosquitoes, consider the following cases. One woman reported a whole host of mosquito eggs laid in her […]
Shoppers Beware! A new scam may have already come to a supermarket near you. In many stores in our country, whole milk, low-fat milk, and skim milk sell for the same price. Cream, however, is much more expensive. It has come to our ever attentive ears that organized crime has developed an ingenious way to […]
By the looks of things, it appears to be mating—I mean, wedding—season again. Funny, seems like it comes around just about every spring. Well, since everyone else is giving wedding advice, I thought I might as well give mine. These days, the really important thing about your wedding is not the dress, not the food, […]
Do you remember the days when you could just walk into a store and buy a jar—no questions asked, no dirty looks, no waiver, no ID, no restrictions. Of course, back in those days—the days when we thought peanut butter was an innocent and entirely harmless food—we used to be unenlightened. Now we’re so much […]
As stated in a previous post, our famous horoscope contest was entirely rigged. So unless you send us your contact info again, we will not be able to award any prizes. A certain Jonathan Axelrod supposedly wrote all the entries, which is what tipped us off to the fact that it was rigged; but here […]
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