Recipe: Cocoa Chaos

Charred Cake

This time of year, many people enjoy inviting friends or relatives to their homes for dinner and serving a special dish. This is a favourite dessert recipe that we just had to share, and it’s guaranteed to make an impression.


A few cups of flour
Bicarbonate of soda to taste
Baking powder to taste
Lots of butter (or lard), softened
A scant pinch of salt
Artificial vanilla flavour
Cocoa powder, lots of cocoa powder
Several eggs


Preheat the oven to Very Hot. Butter two cake pans, whatever size suits your fancy. Put all the ingredients except the eggs into a large bowl, in no particular order. Mix well with a heavy spoon or stick. As you continue mixing with one hand, use the other to throw in the eggs, shells and all — they will crack in the mixing process. (To be polite, you may tell your guests upon serving that they can strain out the eggshells with their teeth.) Continue stirring, faster and faster, until it resembles a slightly chunky, chaotic batter. If you want to break the eggs faster, you may also use a hammer.

Pour batter into pans, filling them as close to the top as possible. The fun part of this recipe is seeing how much it overflows while baking, and if the oven catches fire.

Place in oven for 30 minutes to 1 hour. When it’s done, it should puff up, crack a bit, and may be a little charred at the edges. Remove from oven, take out of pans, and pile up the layers. Then run cold water over your hands for 15 minutes to soothe the burns you got from handling the pans.

Once cooled, slap on the icing of your choice and serve.


For Cocoa Chaos Cookies (a biscuit version), use a little less butter and a little more flour. Drop in globs on a baking tray and cook the same way. Don’t forget to run water over your hands after you remove it from the oven.

This is a great dessert to try on especially distinguished guests. It has an unmatched crunch and is certain to elicit comments. You have our money-back guarantee!

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