It has come to our attention, here at The Flying News, that, in addition to attempting to shake down Ukraine for mineral rights, the United States government has issued an official email officially requiring all employees to provide five things accomplished during the past week. We thought this would be amusing to do here at […]
Unemployment
Horoscopes for the Unemployed
Aries: πr2 Taurus: Ford, 2001, a little rickety, but still drives. Gemini: Everything looks a little greenish to you. Then you realise it’s the emerald you’re wearing like a monocle. Cancer: Chronic illness, cause uncertain, might well kill ya. Leo: Remember the bloke with the blue bandana? He’s still out to get you. Virgo: Hopeless. […]
Robot Unemployment on the Rise
With the advent of automation in the latter half of the 20th century, political campaigns often obsess over the problems of unemployment for those whose jobs are gradually being replaced by robots. But many have overlooked an equally troubling phenomena: older robots being replaced by newer, more intelligent robots. Every year, as Technology™ creates newer, […]
To Combat Unemployment, Oregon Will Use Manual Traffic Lights
In August of this year, 139,010 persons were officially unemployed in the state of Oregon, making the unemployment rate© 7.2%, which is more than 18% above the national average unemployment rate of 6.1%. This is of great concern to someone in the state government. Furthermore, it just so happens that Oregon has exactly 105,763.2 traffic […]