Antarctica Air announced that, beginning April 8th, all passengers will be required to fly nude. Lewis Day, Vice President for Finance, explains that this policy will decrease fuel use, increase airline profits, and allow the airline to sell tickets at significantly lower cost: Every year, we spend millions of dollars buying tens of millions of […]
Is there a salmon in your life? If so, you might find these directions helpful: Bake a cake. Remove cake from oven. Allow cake to cool. Frost cake. On top of the cake, use icing to write a friendly or affectionate message. Consider one or more of the following examples: “Happy Birthday, Salmon” “Salmon, Oh […]
The International Society for Democracy in the English Language (ISDIEL) recently called for mattress and bed frame makers to abandon the old sizing based on monarchical and aristocratic traditions. Instead of ‘King’, ‘Queen’, ‘Full’, and ‘Single’ or ‘Twin’, ISDIEL proposes standard sizes called ‘1N’, ‘2S’, ‘3W’, and ‘4H’.1 “Not only is the American practice of […]
If you’ve been around a little while, you’ve probably heard quite a few references to Time T. In case you haven’t heard about time T yet, here are some of the typical things that scientists say will happen at time T: Economics: At time T, the original investment of $10,000 will have tripled. Physics: At […]
Flying News investigative reporter Ryan Rocifero has discovered that, in preparation for father’s day, VeryManlyTools® Co. has adopted a unique marketing strategy in its retail outlets. “Market researchers at VeryManlyTools found,” Rocifero reports, “that women were discouraging their husbands from buying expensive power tools. They deliberately sought for, and managed to find, a strategy to […]
A New Breakthrough: Maybe ‘Entanglement’ is More than a Metaphor The strange and seeming contradictory experimental results which have been codified as quantum physics are typically described by terms such as ‘entanglement’, ‘superposition’, and ‘wave-particle duality’. It is generally presumed that such terms are metaphors, and that only the precise language of mathematics can […]
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