A test flight of an unmanned American Airlines drone crashed last night while flying over Las Vegas. The flight was originally going to carry 21 passengers, but all of them cancelled at the last minute due to supposedly coincidental schedule conflicts.1 At the time of the crash, air traffic controllers were trying to dissuade the […]
Field Marshal Marcel Hoffmann announced today that The United States Department of Defense1 will in the future be known as the Department of Offense: As George Washington said, “The best defense is a good offense.” And while, in modern America, we are committed to peace and no longer wage wars, we still want everyone to […]
While it is widely believed that the origins of soccer lie in the British Isles,1 new research by xenobiologist Tot Tibor reveals that this is almost certainly not the case. Ancient records indicate that the game was introduced into North America by extraterrestrials, with the first match reportedly played on the current site of the […]
Unmanned Passenger Flights Scheduled to Begin in August! After receiving permission from the FAA in May, American Airlines announced yesterday that they will begin flying unmanned passenger planes. During flight, the planes will be controlled by a sophisticated artificial intelligence, with a human operator on call in case of emergency. The FAA requires takeoff and […]
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