Politics

Federal Employees Disciplined for Stealing Office Supplies

"Büroklammern -- 2021 -- 6481" by Dietmar Rabich. CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

Washington, D.C.: According to anonymous reports from an unnamed federal agency, two employees were disciplined for stealing office supplies from the public. Duane McDouglas, managing accountant at K Street Tax Services, told The Flying News: “we were a little surprised when these federal employees came to inspect our records last Tuesday, but we decided to […]

Five or Ten Things I Accomplished Last Week

It has come to our attention, here at The Flying News, that, in addition to attempting to shake down Ukraine for mineral rights, the United States government has issued an official email officially requiring all employees to provide five things accomplished during the past week. We thought this would be amusing to do here at […]

US Congress Reportedly Considering Universal Excuse Law

Unless circumstances beyond our control intervene, the official COVID-19™ emergency is slated to end on May 11th of this very year. This has caused a certain amount of consternation, and even distress, in some quarters. As one anonymous source explained to our intrepid roving reporter Ryan Rocifero, “COVID-19™ gave us an ideal excuse to avoid […]

Pennsylvania Library Hosts ‘Skin-Head Storytime’ Despite Community Protests

Leechburg, Pa: Despite mostly peaceful community protests, the Armstrong County Library proceeded with a ‘Skin-Head Storytime’ yesterday afternoon. About twenty-seven children aged four through six attended, along with parents and other community members. When asked why the Armstrong County Library offered a venue for this distasteful event, Head Children’s Librarian Cassandra Ngo, who uses the […]

Gender Neutral Brand Names

You would think, since we now live in a gender-neutral world™, that commercial entities would make the necessary efforts to ensure the sexlessness of their products and brand names. This, we regret to say, is far from the case. So, in the interests of progress, the advance of civilization, and the future of the human […]

After Recount, The Real Winner of the 2016 Election Is . . .

RONALD MCDONALD! Voters and politicians everywhere were shocked, stunned, and speechless as the results of the recount were announced last night. Even those who insisted that the initial election count could not possibly be accurate were not expecting this result. But, as one thoughtful voter from Florida remarked, Really, this is a better result than […]

How The Economy Works

Brown jug with sign: If whiskey interferes with your business, give up your business.

We hear a great deal about The Economy in the news, on the radio, on television, on the primary school reading list, and even on candy bar wrappers. But not many people really understand The Economy or how it works. This article will give you the basics and, in fact, all you need to know […]

Leaked US Presidential Election Ballot

2016 Official U.S. Presidential Election Ballot

As most of you know (whichever side of the Atlantic you happen to be on), it’s election season over in the United States. The Americans are voting for their next president, because apparently they haven’t figured out how much easier elections are when you have a Royal Family with a well-defined method for choosing the […]