Police

12 or 13 Things You Can’t Bring on an Airplane

Jim Jocifero
An upside-down airplane

In the good old days, when airplane security was good, you could bring all kinds of gear on an airplane. Going hunting? Bring your gun. Fishing? Bring the harpoon. Camping? Bring a campfire. But nowadays, when the airports are filled with humourless old bobbies, you can barely get your toothpaste through. And believe me, those […]

Turkeys Invade Ohio Suburb

Vim Vocifero

An alert reader recently communicated the following excerpt from a local news-publication: A Westerville [Ohio] caller reported that several turkeys were disrupting traffic by chasing cars in the roadway. . . . When police arrived, the turkeys had left the area.1 Ever eager to find out the real truth behind what passes for news these […]

Lines In Protest To The Dundee Magistrates

William Topaz McGonagall

Fellow citizens of Bonnie Dundee Are ye aware how the magistrates have treated me? Nay, do not stare or make a fuss When I tell ye they have boycotted me from appearing in Royal Circus, Which in my opinion is a great shame, And a dishonour to the city’s name. Fellow citizens, I consider such […]

New New York Law Allows Police to Ticket Drivers for “Being Mean”

Vim Vocifero

Reckless driving is a serious offence, and typically involves endangering others’ well-being. But there is a definite number of drivers who are consistently rude, inconsiderate, and just plain mean, but who aren’t really guilty of reckless driving. “It used to be,” says NYPD sergeant Ronald Cole, “that we’d give them a ticket anyway. Maybe for […]

Woman Jailed for Philosophical Malpractice

Vim Vocifero

As if Socrates’ trial and execution were not evidence enough, from the streets of New York City comes new proof that philosophy and politics don’t mix. Melissa Rosser, Associate Professor of Philosophy at PUNY, is a specialist in ancient philosophy. Among other areas of interest, she has written several books about the paradoxes of Zeno, […]

Murder of a Telephone Personality

Vim Vocifero
By Andy Dingley (scanner) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

While using the automated telephone service at the First Northbrook Bank, Herbert Barnes was the witness of the cruel murder of the telephone personality who was listing his latest transactions: It was brutal, truly brutal. One minute, the female voice is listing debits and deposits, then suddenly she breaks off in the middle of an […]