What is this article really about? An excellent question. Glad you asked. And by the by, there are no stupid questions—only stupid people. Scientists have been seeking an answer for decades, if not centuries. Philosophers have been pondering it for ages. It even has the world’s most astute theologians baffled. More News: Declaration of Independence […]
Good morning, afternoon, or evening, Flying News Reader! Today we have a special treat for you. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. You get to write your own News Story! Yippee! says the Unsuspecting Reader. So here you go. Fill in the blanks—(as you can see, we’ve provided a few details to make it easier): On_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________. […]
An alert reader recently communicated the following excerpt from a local news-publication: A Westerville [Ohio] caller reported that several turkeys were disrupting traffic by chasing cars in the roadway. . . . When police arrived, the turkeys had left the area.1 Ever eager to find out the real truth behind what passes for news these […]
In a landmark blow for linguistic and orthographic equality, a famous New York newspaper has made the decision to eliminate all words of four letters. “For a long time now,” says director of publicity and propaganda Bob Brzezinszki, “we have illegitimately discriminated against a small group of four letter words, to the point of excluding […]
You know how they check your bills with that funny marker whenever you buy something? Do you know why? It’s not because the clerks like the funny marker smell—it’s because you look like a counterfeiter. If you try to pass any funny money, the magic marker detects the forgery and immediately sets off alarm bells, […]
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