Marketing

New Frontiers for Product Placement

Vim Vocifero

You may, perhaps, remember the scene from Air Force One where George Clooney, or Ronald Regan, or Fred Astaire, or whoever it was, finds himself in the cargo hold of the airplane with a not-very-subtle display of Coca-Cola®. (If you happen to have forgotten or had the good fortune not to have seen the movie, […]

Commercial Interests Sieze Control of GPS

Vim Vocifero

Beaverton, OR: Local resident Julie Pike was driving home from work this past Friday, when she realized she had just parked her car in the parking lot of a local Big Buy store. Not only had she just parked in front of Big Buy, but she was in the very act of leaving her car […]

Spicy Food

Vim Vocifero

Not so very long ago, I was wandering about at random with my children, when we happened upon a small market (or equivalent) selling a wide variety of spicy sauces, spicy condiments, spicy salsas, and, as far as I could tell, not much else. In a boldly calculated move to entice customers, the retail establishment […]

Multilingual Alarm Clocks

Vim Vocifero

Have you ever felt frustrated with your alarm clock? Not because it didn’t wake you up in time for that critically important early morning stagger to the coffee shop, and not even because it did wake you up when you really wanted to sleep in on a Monday morning, but simply because it was boring? […]

Declaration of Independence to Display Ads

Vim Vocifero

It appears that the United States of America has a fairly large national debt. How large? Estimates place the figure somewhere in excess of eighteen trillion dollars. Since this debt is so large, we’ve been wondering, here in the central office of The Flying News, how we can get some of that money. At least, […]

New FDA Rules to Limit Use of Adjectives

Vim Vocifero

Do you enjoy free-range, grass-fed, boneless, skinless, additive-free, organic, all-natural, extra-virgin margarine? Or are you addicted to expeller-pressed, unrefined, unhomogenized steak? If so, stock up on these products now, as FDA regulations taking effect next month will make these, and many other, foods impossible to obtain (at least legally). The new FDA regulations occur in […]

New Fords May Require Gluten-Free Gasoline

Vim Vocifero

Last week, Ford™ announced that, starting next year, select vehicle models will require gluten-free gasoline. This announcement has caused a significant amount of concern for motorists, many of whom fear that gluten-free gasoline may prove expensive or hard to obtain. Nicholas Cunniff, a spokesman for the American Association of Medical Mechanics, has publicly criticized Ford’s […]