Christmas may be far in the future for most of us, but not for the American Merchants’ Financial Association. Last week, the AMFA board launched a new campaign to prepare for this year’s holiday season. One of the key aspects of this campaign is a plea to the American people to remember the importance of […]
Marketing
Toledo Resident Celebrates Christmas 2021 in 2019
Catherine Sullivan, resident of Toledo, Ohio, has decided to celebrate Christmas 2021 in 2019. At The Flying News, we don’t usually get around to celebrating until December 24th, so we sent our roving reporter, Ryan Rocifero, to investigate this peculiar phenomenon. Catherine Sullivan: Around here, if you haven’t started celebrating Christmas by mid-November, you’re a […]
Ultimate Universal Technology Corporation Introduces Universal Portable Fire Lighter
New Product Review: Universal Portable Fire Lighter Once upon a time (and not that long ago), cigarette lighters were everywhere. You could buy them in stores, borrow them from friends, or find them lying in the gutter. But when was the last time you smoked a cigarette? What with so many places banning smoking in […]
New Supermarket Scam
Shoppers Beware! A new scam may have already come to a supermarket near you. In many stores in our country, whole milk, low-fat milk, and skim milk sell for the same price. Cream, however, is much more expensive. It has come to our ever attentive ears that organized crime has developed an ingenious way to […]
Reverse Advertising
I started to become aware of this new kind of advertising when a truck featuring a prominent bumper sticker pulled in front of me and slammed on its brakes.1 “Well,” I said to myself, “I’m never going to McDonald’s again.” It was only later, when I happened to discuss the incident with a fellow sufferer […]
Random Word Replacement Keeps Music Lovers Interested
“Music is boring!” This was the conclusion that Gene Walton came to after a summer spent as a lifeguard. Instead of giving up and spending the rest of his free time studying geometry, Walton decided to take action: he invented the Waltonizer, a small device that randomly replaces words in music of any genre. His […]
Translations for Sales Slogans
A Flying News Exclusive You’ve seen them at the side of the road, in the supermarket, and on the bus. Call them sales phrases, advertising slogans, or tag lines, they are an irksome, but cryptic, part of our life. If you’ve ever wondered what statements like “Lovin’ Beats Hatin’” or “An American Revolution” really […]