Magic

Nose Running Like a Faucet? Try These Tricks

Moo.

If your nose is running like a faucet, should you run to the doctor or to the sink? Or call a plumber and hope for the best? According to the self-proclaimed experts, chances are you don’t need a doctor, nurse, or housewife to fix the problem—just a little know-how and some elbow grease. Tricks for […]

Card Tricks Magician

A Photograph of the Trick Card

Illusionist David Copperfield is known as a pretty good trickster. And yet, the renowned magician was fooled last weekend by his own card trick, when an audience member chose a card of a previously-undiscovered suit. While the trick called for choosing “any card” from the deck, Copperfield was not expecting quite the card his volunteer […]

Book Review: Last Night I Was A Magic Marker

Mudd, Jerry Q. Last Night I Was A Magic Marker. Northern South Dakota University Press, 2017, 3.14 pp., $15.92 hardcover. Last Night I Was A Magic Marker attempts to combine the magic of the Harry Potter series with the surrealism of Roald Dahl. Unfortunately, it fails, and fails completely. For starters, the illustrations (which compose […]

The Frog King

In olden times, when wishing still helped one, there lived a king whose daughters were all beautiful, but the youngest was so beautiful that the sun itself, which has seen so much, was astonished whenever it shone in her face. Close by the King’s castle lay a great dark forest, and under an old lime-tree […]

Square Files Protest With International Steak Naming Association

The square has officially filed a protest with the International Steak Naming Association (ISNA), calling the fact that there is no square steak a “grave injustice.” Rumors allege that the square initially attempted to convince the pentagon to join it in protesting. The pentagon, reportedly, was content with “enjoying exalted status in the worlds of […]

On Waking and Rising

Moo.

Have you ever got up in the morning, put on your hat to go out, and realised it’s too small? Then you measure the circumference of your head, only to find that it’s an inch larger than when you measured it the day before? I hate when that happens. More News: Simulated Windows Save Energy […]

Technological Breakthrough Allows Higher Proofs and Percentages

You may have heard that it is impossible to distill alcohol to greater than 95.6% (191.2 proof). This is true, although reverse osmosis and molecular sieves can bring alcohol up to a full 100% concentration (200 proof).1 Now, however, new advances in technology have made possible even higher concentrations of alcohol. Albert Säufer, who invented […]

The Flying News: Suggested Uses

If you have been a devoted reader of The Flying News for any length of time, you may, in your spare moments, have caught yourself wondering something like this: “Why am I reading this stuff?” Well, really, that’s something to be kept between you and your psychologist. If, on the other hand, you’d like to […]