Things to Do in a Dentist’s Waiting Room

Have you ever found yourself sitting in a dentist’s waiting room, wondering how to pass the time while listening idly to the gentle sounds of the office: the soft whine of the drill, the subtle rattle of the bone saw, and the other patients’ muted screams of agony? If you have encountered this quandary, if […]

Department of Defense to be Department of Offense

Field Marshal Marcel Hoffmann announced today that The United States Department of Defense1 will in the future be known as the Department of Offense: As George Washington said, “The best defense is a good offense.” And while, in modern America, we are committed to peace and no longer wage wars, we still want everyone to […]


Wack! WHAM: OW-OW-OW-OW-OWOWOWOWOW- Boink. “Hey, wait a minute.” “Why?” CRASH!!! “See what I mean?” “Why you LITTLE . . .” . . . bump . . . Clangangangangang. “All right then. You just come back here!” “Wait! See this?” “Yah.” CRASHCLANGBANGBONG . . . Boing . . . Boing . . . Boing . . […]

Swedish Parliament Objects to “Borg”

Sveriges riksdag, photograph by Christian Gidlöf, in public domain, available at

The Swedish Parliament, or Riksdag, recently registered an objection with the international court concerning the use of the Swedish name Borg to refer to a psuedo-race in the Star Trek Universe©. “The name ‘Borg’ is part of the indigenous linguistic wealth of the Swedish people,” explains Ante Borg, Swedish Minister of Commerce. “The use of […]

How to Talk to the Queen

Have you ever been taking a peaceful, quiet, non-confrontational sort of a walk, strolling languidly through a park or down a country lane, your mind full of the beauties of green growing things, when suddenly, without warning, you find yourself confronted with a queen, or perhaps a king, prince, princess, or some other such royal […]