Humour

Instant, Personalised Thank You Letters

“Dear Reader [insert YOUR first name here], I am deeply grateful that you have continued to support The Flying News by reading this article and for the wonderful difference you have made in the last 3 minutes by clicking the link that brought you to this page. Once again, from the bottom of my bottomless […]

Why Children Cry and What it Can Get You

A monstery shadow looming over a small child.

It’s a fractal of life: children cry. Some cry a lot. Some cry well into adulthood. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist (or a child psychologist)1 to figure out why children cry. They cry because they want a particular thing at that particular moment. Many inexperienced parents believe that to have a child crying […]

On Waking and Rising

Moo.

Have you ever got up in the morning, put on your hat to go out, and realised it’s too small? Then you measure the circumference of your head, only to find that it’s an inch larger than when you measured it the day before? I hate when that happens. More News: Simulated Windows Save Energy […]

Proper Use of Gender-Neutral Pronouns

Onion head with big round eyes.

For all you grammaphones out there, here is a lesson on the correct use of gender-neutral pronouns. While some well-known, better-unmentioned anti-social networking websites use “they” and “them” as gender-neutral pronouns, everyone knows “they” and “them” are both plural, and therefore cannot be used for a single person, whether that person is a male, female, […]

Have a Desert for Dessert

Desserts in the Desert

A Desert for Dessert? A common spelling mistake in the English language is to confuse the spelling of dessert with that of desert, and desert with that of dessert. For example, I once had a manufactured appliance whose label called it The Great American Desert Machine. I never could get that thing to make any […]

Most Common Deadly Illnesses

Pie chart showing % of deaths by sickness.

Do you ever ask yourself the question, “Am I still ill?” Well, even if you don’t, you might be interested in knowing how many other people are dying of various illnesses. And even if you aren’t, you might be inclined to read about it. But even if you weren’t, we still want to write about […]

This Is Nothing

This Is Nothing

I feel compelled to write a reply to the recent post by Hilaire Belloc on nothing at all, which was so aptly titled. While I dare say it is one of our best-written articles of late—and it certainly gets to the essence of nothing—I do think it is missing something. So I begin with a […]

How to Tell a Donkey from a Bicycle

Do you ride a donkey to work while your next-door neighbour takes a bicycle? Do you find yourself spending way too much time each morning trying to determine which is which, so you don’t accidentally mount his bike and leave your donkey? Well, here we explain the subtle differences between a donkey and a bike, […]