Humour

FLYING NEWS EMERGENCY NOTICE

Jim Jocifero

TO ALL FLYING NEWS PERSONNEL, BOTH NECESSARY AND ANCILLARY (INCLUDING VIM): This is an emergency. All Personnel report to the front office immediately.1 Don’t Panic! Run, do not walk. Wear slip-resistant shoes. Remove all jewellery and loose clothing. Deposit jewellery with the burglar at the second floor fire escape. Proceed with caution to the third […]

A Few Verses for Bakers

Jim Jocifero
A four-tier wedding cake, looks like chocolate and coconut flavour.

If you like baking, here are some suave, romantic verses of poetry to use on a sweet, plump, little cutie-pie, if one should come your way. Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is cheap and so are you. Roses are red Violets are blue Butter is fat and so are you. Roses are red […]

A Tiger and a Killer Bee whose Home was a Cedar

Jim Jocifero
A cat flying with a honeybee under a palm tree in the sunshine.

Once upon a time, there was a tall, majestic Cedar. Except it wasn’t really a cedar, and it wasn’t really very tall or majestic; it was more of a middle-sized palm tree. But this palm tree was named Cedar. Under this palm tree named Cedar lived a ferocious Tiger. Except it was not so much […]

Family Board Game Promotes Child Marriage, Rule-Breaking

Jim Jocifero
Board game cover showing young girl wearing wedding ring.

In his never-ending search for secret knowledge and the wisdom of the ages, Ryan Rocifero has unearthed an artefact of the 1980s board game industry which demonstrates a propagandistic push for the reintroduction of child marriage into Western society. Pictured on the front of the board game’s box is a girl who looks to be […]

Intellectual Property In The Corporate World

Jim Jocifero
Oppressive company policy.

All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The Company. All my creativity belongs to The […]

Writing Fiction with Gender-Neutral Pronouns

Jim Jocifero
Internals of a house, showing floor truss, drain pipe, and spider webs.

This story will introduce the reader to writing fiction with gender-neutral pronouns. If you haven’t already, please read our companion article, Proper Use of Gender-Neutral Pronouns. The Architect’s House Once upon a time, there was an architect named Sal.1 Sal designed his/her own house, all by his/her self, since he/she had a degree in the […]

Preface (The Path to Rome)

Hilaire Belloc

‘… and as to what may be in this book, do not feel timid nor hesitate to enter. There are more mountains than mole-hills …’          The Path to Rome   Hilaire Belloc   ‘. .. AMORE ANTIQUI RITUS, ALTO SUB NUMINE ROMAE’     PRAISE OF THIS BOOK To every honest […]

Mensa mea emicat (a Latin poem)

Jim Jocifero
An Aristotelian manuscript

Mensa mea emicat et per domum ambulat. Ergo foedam gladio celeriter exanimo. Translation tips: emico, -are, -micui, -micatum – spring forth, leap up, appear suddenly (1st conjugation) domus, f. – house (4th declension, irregular) ambulo, -are, -avi, -atum – walk (1st conjugation) foedus, -a, -um – loathsome, disgusting, vile, obscene gladius, -i, m. – sword […]