It has come to our attention, here at The Flying News, that, in addition to attempting to shake down Ukraine for mineral rights, the United States government has issued an official email officially requiring all employees to provide five things accomplished during the past week. We thought this would be amusing to do here at […]
Aries: If you read your horoscope today, it won’t come true. Taurus: If you read Aries’ horoscope today, it won’t come true. Gemini: You’d rather be building a spacecraft. Cancer: Start working on your bucket list. Leo: Oel. Virgo: River deep, mountain high. Libra: Tip the scales, see what happens. Scrappy-o: A bit of a […]
A new line of clothing by OfficeWear Max promises to improve your workday, reduce stress, and free up lots of time. The company, an off-shoot of Military Uniforms United, recently introduced a line of camouflaging office attire. Marketing director Sarah Woolard of OfficeWear Max stated, “Our new line of camouflage will help you blend right […]
Rumour has it that the Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington, D.C. (USA) is preparing to close its doors—shut down—for good.1 The American people can thank a savvy young intern, barely out of university, who recently discovered a clever money-saving technique that somehow slipped by all previous librarians. So what is this discovery which makes the […]
Redmund, Ronald. Welcome to the Internet: Just When You Thought There Were Too Many Books to Read in a Lifetime. Electropop Books, Ltd., 1992. 233 pp., £19.92 (Hardcover). The newest book from Electropop Books, Ltd., Ronald Redmund’s 1992 Welcome to the Internet: Just When You Thought There Were Too Many Books to Read in a […]
TO ALL FLYING NEWS PERSONNEL, BOTH NECESSARY AND ANCILLARY (INCLUDING VIM): This is an emergency. All Personnel report to the front office immediately.1 Don’t Panic! Run, do not walk. Wear slip-resistant shoes. Remove all jewellery and loose clothing. Deposit jewellery with the burglar at the second floor fire escape. Proceed with caution to the third […]
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