If you have been a devoted reader of The Flying News for any length of time, you may, in your spare moments, have caught yourself wondering something like this: “Why am I reading this stuff?” Well, really, that’s something to be kept between you and your psychologist. If, on the other hand, you’d like to […]
If, like many Americans, you have books in your house, you may occasionally wonder how to organize them. You could, of course, just throw all your books on the floor, figuring that this is the most natural and organic sort of order for your book collection. The problem with this approach is that your books […]
Eat This—Not That You may have noticed that quite a few books have been published lately about what to eat. Examples include Eat This, Not That, The Omnivore’s Dilemma, and My Very First Book of Food. These sorts of publications make it evident even to the untrained eye that there is a very great need […]
Have you ever noticed that large appliance repairs usually happen in the middle of the night? If you have noticed this, you have probably wondered what it is about the smallest hours of the night that causes you to find yourself with your stove or dishwasher scattered around your kitchen in fifty-seven pieces? Ever tireless […]
There are, as everyone knows, as many different kinds of engagements as there are people. For example, frogs generally begin their engagement by being kissed by princesses. Lord Ickenham, in contrast, recommends that you proceed as follows: “stride up to the subject, grab her by the wrist, clasp her to your bosom and shower burning […]
Cheer, as everyone knows, can mean (among various other meanings that I am not interested in discussing today) three distinct things: (1) A feeling of gaiety, mirth, or cheerfulness;1 (2) A loud shout or acclamation expressing applause, joy, enthusiasm, cheer (1), or approbation; and (3) Alcoholic beverages of all kinds, particularly those set forth to […]
Many of our readers have complained about the time it takes to prepare meals, specifically lunch (which some call “dinner”, not to be confused with “supper” which others call “dinner”), which they bring to work or school, as the case may be. After some intense calculation and much brooding thought, we have come up with […]
Credo I believe in petroleum distillate. I believe that an expensive car enhances sexual fitness. That a car’s horsepower directly correlates to intelligence. That the larger your car is, the better you are. That if you pick your nose in your own car, nobody can see you. That I can drive safely while drunk, texting, […]
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