There’s been a lot of talk (maybe a little too much talk) these days about the newest coronavirus on the block,1 and everyone seems to be running away from it, without knowing exactly which way to run. But, lest we forget all the other looming, lurking, dark, and dreary diseases out there, we decided to […]
Do you remember the days when you could just walk into a store and buy a jar—no questions asked, no dirty looks, no waiver, no ID, no restrictions. Of course, back in those days—the days when we thought peanut butter was an innocent and entirely harmless food—we used to be unenlightened. Now we’re so much […]
Aries: You will receive an unwelcome visitor, most likely arriving by air. Taurus: In the dead of night, if you’re not asleep, you should be. Gemini: Your future is entirely unpredictable. Cancer: Yes, still sick. Try radiation. Lego: Traumatic brain injury foils your plans for afternoon tea. But there’s always tomorrow. Virgo: To save money […]
Since I consider myself a bit of an amateur philosopher1 (even if of above average intelligence—that is, above the average intelligence of the average amateur philosopher), today I’d like to introduce you to a hearty helping of good, sound, amateur philosophy. For now, we shall cover just the basics, dear Watson: an everyday scenario that […]
The introduction of the “smart bullet” a few years back was intended to allow soldiers to kill enemies with greater precision. Confidential sources report that the “smart bullet 3.14” is due to enter service later this year. This redesigned, next-generation weapon will increase accuracy to the extent that the army will be able to completely […]
Who told Lies, and was Burned to Death Matilda told such Dreadful Lies, It made one Gasp and Stretch one’s Eyes; Her Aunt, who, from her Earliest Youth, Had kept a Strict Regard for Truth, Attempted to Believe Matilda: The effort very nearly killed her, And would have done so, had not She Discovered this […]
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