Cows

I before E

Jim Jocifero
Will Everyone Including Ronald Die?

As we learned in grammar school, “I before E except after C or when sounding like A as in neighbor or… weird?” So, in King’s English: When you are either ageing or fighting ageism with Alzheimers, you tend toward deified albeit counterfeit caffeines and proteins, and even codeine for a seizure. And while the height […]

FDA Approves “Vegan Cows”

Vim Vocifero

In a breakthrough of advanced biotechnology and cunning marketing, Amalgamated Universal Biotech Inc. (AUBI) announced that its Vegan Cow has now been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). AUBI claims that its new product, secretly developed in Hidden Underground Research Labs (HURL), is 100% plant based and suitable for vegan consumption. This news […]

Converting Units of Horses to Cows

Jim Jocifero
Headless camel.

Dear The Flying News, How do you convert between units of horses and cows? Would it be correct to use their respective weights, the amount they eat, the cost of purchase, the weight of meat alone (lean or full-fat?), or meat plus gallons of milk produced? The reason I need to know is that I […]

A Bovine Named Horse

Jim Jocifero
Triplane image based on a public domain image by Dryke, available at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tripe_silhouette.PNG.

There once was a bovine named Horse, who shunned all her sisters with force. She dressed all in silk, and she wouldn’t give milk, so her beef it became the main course. More News: A Triplet of Limericks Instant, Personalised Thank You Letters A Tiger and a Killer Bee whose Home was a Cedar Pete […]