If you hadn’t heard of Barefoot Shoes™ before reading this sentence, now, having read it, you have heard of them. But Barefoot Shoes™ were just a beginning, or only—as one used to say before the invention of the abominable term prequel—a prelude to better things. Last Tuesday, to nearly universal acclaim, Barefoot Shoes Inc. introduced […]
Clothes
How to Avoid Making a Fashion Statement
These days, almost anything you find on the rack at the so-called “department” store is either “trendy” or “vice versa,” whatever that means. Which is to say that whatever you put on in the dressing room makes you immediately feel stared-at when you walk out the store without having paid for it. You know, how […]
Camouflage for the Office
A new line of clothing by OfficeWear Max promises to improve your workday, reduce stress, and free up lots of time. The company, an off-shoot of Military Uniforms United, recently introduced a line of camouflaging office attire. Marketing director Sarah Woolard of OfficeWear Max stated, “Our new line of camouflage will help you blend right […]
Lifestyle T-shirts: The New “Thing”
Do you see as many “lifestyle T-shirts” as I do? It seems like they are becoming more popular every day. Lifestyle T-shirts are the ones that bear relatively simple messages proclaiming an activity (supposedly) engaged in by the wearer, who is apparently proud of his particular lifestyle (as if he’s part of an elite class […]
Male Clothing Emancipation Movement Gaining Ground
Much like the bloomer movement for women of the 1850s (although rather late by the standards of modern revolt), a new emancipation movement in male dress is striking down centuries-old restrictions on clothing for men. While the bloomer movement saw women throwing off dresses and tight corsets in favour of bloomers and pantaloons,1 the men’s […]
Three Piece Suits Newest Trend In High Visibility Wear
In the minds of most of us, high visibility clothing (also called, presumably by marketing executives who failed spelling class, ‘hi-viz’) means bright orange T-shirts that strike the viewer with palpably violent force, plastic pants of a green that leaves an after-image lasting three weeks, and hats of a yellow shade so disturbing that they […]
Descriptive Jottings of London
As I stood upon London Bridge and viewed the mighty throng Of thousands of people in cabs and ‘busses rapidly whirling along, All furiously driving to and fro, Up one street and down another as quick as they could go: Then I was struck with the discordant sound of human voices there, Which seemed to […]
Charles Augustus Fortescue
Charles Augustus Fortescue Who Always Did what was Right, and so Accumulated an Immense Fortune The nicest child I ever knew Was Charles Augustus Fortescue. He never lost his cap, or tore His stockings or his pinafore: In eating Bread he made no Crumbs, He was extremely fond of sums, To which, however, he preferred […]