Business

Industrial Solutions for Miniscule Problems

Industrial Miniscule™ is a new company with a bold mission: to provide “industrial solutions for miniscule problems.” In a 1 February press release detailing the company’s plans for market dominance, CEO Mark Kram said, This is the sort of company America has been waiting for. In fact, it’s the company the world has been waiting […]

Domestic Terrorists Target Un-American Food

"Misawa takoyaki," U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Marie Brown. Public domain via Wikimedia Commons. Detail.

What Makes a Food Truly American? This is the question that eaters, restaurant owners, and food producers are asking themselves in the wake of another regrettable example of American extremism. A terrorist group identifying itself as True American Eaters recently claimed responsibility for a series of attacks on eateries and other food-related businesses deemed ‘Un-American’. […]

Holiday Returns App

Returning gifts can make the first few days of Christmas almost as busy as the last few days before Christmas. But do you ever wonder whether those gifts you chose with so much care and thought were really as appreciated as their recipients told you they were? After all, even if someone tells you that […]

Product Review: Boss-Mode Hammock

Does your work interfere with your relaxation? Do you find yourself sitting at a desk when you’d rather be reclining? Technology hasn’t yet enabled you to be in your office working at the same time that you’re at the beach surfing, but all the same, the Boss-Mode Hammock is a major advance in the possibilities […]

UUTC Patents Sphere

The newest in a string of controversial patents is Ultimate Universal Technology Corporation (UUTC) application for a patent on the sphere. While the patent has not yet been granted, the application itself causes difficulties for a wide number of sphere users, both industrial and recreational. In particular, a number of sphere-manipulating sports would find themselves […]

Nude Flights Save Weight, Fuel

Antarctica Air announced that, beginning April 8th, all passengers will be required to fly nude. Lewis Day, Vice President for Finance, explains that this policy will decrease fuel use, increase airline profits, and allow the airline to sell tickets at significantly lower cost: Every year, we spend millions of dollars buying tens of millions of […]

A Manifesto on Censorship

Friends, Enemies, Readers of The Flying News wherever you may be, for too long now a little noticed, but very grave, practice has been disfiguring our public life. To what do I refer? Well, let me tell you the story of how I came to be aware of this menace to civilization. As Heraclitus said, […]

Latin in the Workplace

© Croquant / Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY-SA-3.0 & GFDL, via Wikimedia Commons

Latin, as everyone knows, is a dead language. But despite this well-known fact, the Latin language is becoming increasingly important in the twenty-first century workplace. Why? There are three primary reasons: Modern digital equipment responds better to Latin than to any other language. If your printer is giving you trouble, and responds to your most […]

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