Birds and Bells

Man Waits Three Years for Pizza Delivery

Marvel at the precision of the ingredient placement on this Precise Pizza.

A Southampton bloke named Arnold1 decided to order a pizza one day. Little did he know this pizza would cost him three years of his life. It was about six o’clock in the spring of 2016. Arnold called the local pizzeria.2 A waiter took his order, entering all the necessary information into the new computerised […]

Some Statistics You Might Find Interesting

Largest number of simultaneous nose pickers: 1,293,2991 How often the average American™ belches: 17 times per day2 Average age at which the average American™ finds a permanent full-time job: 33.45 years3 Number of bubbles in a glass of beer: 12,394,1294 Percentage of those under twenty who value their Playstation more than their parents: 74.3%5 Percentage […]

Edgar Allan Poe To Be Translated Into English

The staff of The Flying News has accepted an invitation to participate in a panel which will undertake the grand endeavour of translating the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe into the English language. The panel includes men, women, and children, all of whom are renowned experts in the English language, having spoken the same […]