Beer

Domestic Terrorists Target Un-American Food

"Misawa takoyaki," U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Marie Brown. Public domain via Wikimedia Commons. Detail.

What Makes a Food Truly American? This is the question that eaters, restaurant owners, and food producers are asking themselves in the wake of another regrettable example of American extremism. A terrorist group identifying itself as True American Eaters recently claimed responsibility for a series of attacks on eateries and other food-related businesses deemed ‘Un-American’. […]

Yes, We Were Inspired by Beer

For some years now, a significant segment1 of the population of Columbus, Ohio has been firmly convinced that the logo of the Columbus Recreation and Parks Department (CRPD) represents a mug of beer with a large head of foam. As Michael Hartman says: “I see it every day, and every day it makes me think […]

G. K. Chesterton on Beer

It is now an established fact that all human motive and action is due to Beer; not merely among adults but also among children. The whole life of a child (of either sex) is actuated by Beer. The first action of which a child is capable is a lusty yell; we have established that this […]

Holiday Uncheer©

Cheer, as everyone knows, can mean (among various other meanings that I am not interested in discussing today) three distinct things: (1) A feeling of gaiety, mirth, or cheerfulness;1 (2) A loud shout or acclamation expressing applause, joy, enthusiasm, cheer (1), or approbation; and (3) Alcoholic beverages of all kinds, particularly those set forth to […]

New Lower Calorie Food

With the current focus on waistline management strategies, Ultimate Universal Technology Corporation (UUTC) has introduced a new line of low and no calorie foods called Minimal Natural™. Their first two products include a drink called Pura™, a ‘soda’ featuring only two ingredients, water and carbon dioxide, and a snack bar called Néant™, which has no […]

Repurposing: Wine Storage

Do you like wine? If you do, you may wonder where best to store your wine. There are, of course, a lot of boring commercial options—wine barrels, wine racks, and wine coolers. But if you don’t really like these options, if you prefer something original and exciting, then stay tuned . . . (Noise and […]

Swampmen Infiltrate New Orleans

When Gentilly resident Marc Ménard returned to his home on Tuesday, he entered his kitchen and was shocked to find someone who seemed to be himself, cooking dinner in his own kitchen. Understandably shocked, Marc ran screaming from his house, He then proceeded to a local bar, where he was even more shocked to see […]

Step Aside, Tea: Coffee is Where It’s At

A coffee drinker.

Real Men Drink Coffee The political anti-tax group known as the tea party used to be the last word in extreme American politics. This year, though, the tea party just isn’t extreme enough. “Governing is a privilege, not a right,” argues Alexander Gottlieb, of Plymouth, WI, “and rather than taxing us, the government ought to […]