There are, as everyone knows, as many different kinds of engagements as there are people. For example, frogs generally begin their engagement by being kissed by princesses. Lord Ickenham, in contrast, recommends that you proceed as follows: “stride up to the subject, grab her by the wrist, clasp her to your bosom and shower burning […]
Cheer, as everyone knows, can mean (among various other meanings that I am not interested in discussing today) three distinct things: (1) A feeling of gaiety, mirth, or cheerfulness;1 (2) A loud shout or acclamation expressing applause, joy, enthusiasm, cheer (1), or approbation; and (3) Alcoholic beverages of all kinds, particularly those set forth to […]
Many of our readers have complained about the time it takes to prepare meals, specifically lunch (which some call “dinner”, not to be confused with “supper” which others call “dinner”), which they bring to work or school, as the case may be. After some intense calculation and much brooding thought, we have come up with […]
Credo I believe in petroleum distillate. I believe that an expensive car enhances sexual fitness. That a car’s horsepower directly correlates to intelligence. That the larger your car is, the better you are. That if you pick your nose in your own car, nobody can see you. That I can drive safely while drunk, texting, […]
Computerized, voice-activated personal assistants like Siri and Cortana can do a lot to get you information and answer fact-based questions. But until now, there hasn’t been an application that could answer the real, deep questions you are asking yourself all the time, questions that require decisions. Siri and Cortana can answer things like: What time […]
Budgeting for Everyone There are two main ways to budget, the credit method and the other method. The credit method: The credit method is easy, provided you are able to borrow large sums of money. If you want to try the credit method of budgeting, follow these three easy steps: Borrow as much money as […]
Do you feel apprehensive when you think about entertaining? Entertaining can be stressful, especially when your guests drill holes in the walls. But if you follow our advice, you can make sure that your distinguished guests remember the time spent in your home for the rest of their lives.1 In order to keep your guests […]
Why You Should Let Your Children Help Fix Your House August is a great time to finish up all of your summer projects. If you have children, it’s always tempting to do these projects without their help. You might feel like working in the middle of the night, not showering for long enough that your […]
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