This time of year, you hear many people saying things like “Happy holidays!” and “Merry Christmas!”, usually with big grins and sometimes wearing floppy red hats with pom-poms on top. You also hear lots of happy, wintry, Christmas-y music playing over PA systems in stores, and you might even find yourself surrounded by carollers who […]
Advice
Recipe: Charred Chard
While it’s likely you’ve at least heard of “chard,” you may, regrettably, have only the merest passing acquaintance with the substance. So we won’t assume anything. Rather, we’ll begin with the assumption that you’re about in the position of one of those hapless souls who purchases a “For the Complete and Total Moron” style publication. […]
Original Names for Girls
Bane in the Olitory?
A Narrative of Personal Occurences Good morrow, readers. While not the ordinary type of intelligence encountered here, you may be interested in a thing that passed me lately. Whilst looking for something esculent in my olitory one day last sennight, I found a few doughnuts that were a little over-ripe, that is, past their prime. […]
How to Influence People
At The Flying News, we have a fairly significant body of experience trying to influence people. Most of this experience has been obtained by attempting to convince merchants to provide us with free doughnuts, and even though we have always failed in our attempts, we feel prepared to give (possibly) helpful advice on this moderately […]
How to Reinvent the Wheel
If you think about wheels as often as we at The Flying News do, you may have heard various—and perhaps even sundry—persons discuss the desirability of reinventing the wheel. And for some reason or other, such specimens usually refer to the reinvention of the wheel as not wholly desirable. But having nothing better to do […]
The Flying News: Suggested Uses
If you have been a devoted reader of The Flying News for any length of time, you may, in your spare moments, have caught yourself wondering something like this: “Why am I reading this stuff?” Well, really, that’s something to be kept between you and your psychologist. If, on the other hand, you’d like to […]
Eat This—Not That
Eat This—Not That You may have noticed that quite a few books have been published lately about what to eat. Examples include Eat This, Not That, The Omnivore’s Dilemma, and My Very First Book of Food. These sorts of publications make it evident even to the untrained eye that there is a very great need […]