How to Avoid Making a Fashion Statement

These days, almost anything you find on the rack at the so-called “department” store is either “trendy” or “vice versa,” whatever that means. Which is to say that whatever you put on in the dressing room makes you immediately feel stared-at when you walk out the store without having paid for it. You know, how […]

Christmas Parties Take Their Toll

Dead man on couch.

Three weeks before Christmas, on 4 December, Mr. Edgar Rolton was pronounced dead after suddenly collapsing at the very end of a festive holiday party. Several friends tried to resuscitate the man, aged 45, while his wife (widow) looked on in utter grief. Paramedics arrived shortly thereafter but even they failed to resuscitate him. The […]

Holiday Returns App

Returning gifts can make the first few days of Christmas almost as busy as the last few days before Christmas. But do you ever wonder whether those gifts you chose with so much care and thought were really as appreciated as their recipients told you they were? After all, even if someone tells you that […]

Last Minute Christmas Shopping

Polls indicate that, if you are a typical American, Englishman, Australian, German, Peruvian, Bolivian, or Martian, there is a 92.4% chance that you have not yet finished your Christmas shopping. Well, The Flying News is, as always, here to help. We have prepared a superb list of last minute Christmas presents to help you avert […]

How to Cope with Holiday Cheer

This time of year, you hear many people saying things like “Happy holidays!” and “Merry Christmas!”, usually with big grins and sometimes wearing floppy red hats with pom-poms on top. You also hear lots of happy, wintry, Christmas-y music playing over PA systems in stores, and you might even find yourself surrounded by carollers who […]

The True Meaning of Christmas

Bar chart showing Europeans know better than Americans.

When asked in a recent survey what the true meaning of Christmas is, 53% of Americans answered “Santa Claus”, 38% answered “Evergreens”, 7% answered “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, and 2% answered “Other.” When the survey was given to Europeans, “Evergreens” ranked highest at 47%, “Santa Claus” came in at 43%, and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” […]

Toledo Resident Celebrates Christmas 2021 in 2019

Catherine Sullivan, resident of Toledo, Ohio, has decided to celebrate Christmas 2021 in 2019. At The Flying News, we don’t usually get around to celebrating until December 24th, so we sent our roving reporter, Ryan Rocifero, to investigate this peculiar phenomenon. Catherine Sullivan: Around here, if you haven’t started celebrating Christmas by mid-November, you’re a […]

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