It’s that time of year again. The end of the year. Yes, the END is NIGH. You know what that means.1 You need a new calendar. Look no further. Industrial Minuscule™ has the calendar for you. And not just any calendar. This is an all-new line of calendars affectionately called Cubicle Calendars™, reinvented for the […]
Do you have a computer? If so, you’ve certainly considered adding more RAM, salivated over a more powerful graphics card, or perhaps thought about buying a whole new system. You’ve wondered: “Do I need to upgrade my computer?” Don’t lose sleep wondering. Just follow the simple directions below to determine whether or not you need […]
A new study, “Automated Bathroom Fixtures as a Contribution to Obesity in So-Called Advanced Societies,” appeared last Tuesday in the Journal of Luddite Studies Concerning Advanced Technology. This article, by Silvius Fractor and Jacob Leland, argues persuasively that a significant and previously unrecognized factor in the so-called obesity epidemic is the proliferation of automated bathroom […]
Programmer Robert Burnish has invented a first-of-its-kind application in artificial intelligence, which he nevertheless claims is no more intelligent than its programmer. To create this “Automatic Poetry Generator” as he calls it, Mr. Burnish had to program in both rhyme and reason, a difficult task for programmers, who generally know nothing about poetry, and even […]
Returning gifts can make the first few days of Christmas almost as busy as the last few days before Christmas. But do you ever wonder whether those gifts you chose with so much care and thought were really as appreciated as their recipients told you they were? After all, even if someone tells you that […]
A new study by Harvard physician Harvey Hess published on Tuesday in the Journal of Authentic Medicine (JAM) provides strong evidence that breathing is a significant cause of the common cold. While airborne viruses and air pollution are widely recognized as significant causes of the cold, Hess shows that the absorption of oxygen in the […]
So you’re already an organized person. Congratulations (you annoying snob). But now what? If, despite being organized, you want organizational advice, you find yourself at a loss. All the books purporting to give advice about this matter—and there are quite a few, as you know—were too obviously designed for the benefit of the jumbled, the […]
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