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New Study Indicates that Text Boxes Are Replacing Thought Bubbles

In his groundbreaking paper “Text Boxes Replace Thought Bubbles,” psychologist Dean Tomey showed convincingly that the time-honored thought bubble is steadily being replaced by the text box. Tomey’s twenty-year study involved fMRI, EEG, and PET scans of thinking subjects of a variety of ages and cultures. These neuroimaging techniques revealed that 93% of thinkers over […]

Unlimited Internet Sales Introduces Sub-Prime

The Unlimited Internet Sales Corporation (UISC) recently introduced a new category of membership: sub-prime. This new category joins UISC’s current categories of outstanding, superior, excellent, and good enough. Okay, you might say—so what? Well, this new level of membership offers several important advantages: It’s free. While even ‘good enough’ membership requires a monthly fee, sub-prime […]

New Supermarket Scam

Shoppers Beware! A new scam may have already come to a supermarket near you. In many stores in our country, whole milk, low-fat milk, and skim milk sell for the same price. Cream, however, is much more expensive. It has come to our ever attentive ears that organized crime has developed an ingenious way to […]

Horoscope Contest Results!

Strange illusory hand building a paper house.

As stated in a previous post, our famous horoscope contest was entirely rigged. So unless you send us your contact info again, we will not be able to award any prizes. A certain Jonathan Axelrod supposedly wrote all the entries, which is what tipped us off to the fact that it was rigged; but here […]

Horoscope Contest Closed

The Flying News Horoscope Contest is officially closed.1 I want to personally2 thank all the readers who submitted horoscopes for the contest. It was truly stunning what you came up with, and if you didn’t enter, then you totally missed out. However, I have some bad news: it appears that the contest was rigged.3 All […]

Man Rescues Radiators from House During Tornado

Radiators sit outside a house turned to rubble by a tornado.

Brian Sortee, 25, of Hampton, became an overnight hero last Tuesday, when a flash tornado hit the home of his next door neighbour, 82-year-old Evelyn Smith, affectionately known to all as “Mrs. Smith.” Sortee was mowing his lawn when he spotted the tornado at a distance, coming straight for Mrs. Smith’s house. “I could tell […]

Tell Us What This Picture Means

HELP US OUT:   In our wanderings, we happened to come across the perplexing image displayed below. The funny thing is, we don’t really understand it. Is it a deeply metaphysical statement? Or perhaps an advertising ploy. It might even be a message from interplanetary visitors. Take a look and tell us what you think. […]

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