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Recipe: Charred Chard

While it’s likely you’ve at least heard of “chard,” you may, regrettably, have only the merest passing acquaintance with the substance. So we won’t assume anything. Rather, we’ll begin with the assumption that you’re about in the position of one of those hapless souls who purchases a “For the Complete and Total Moron” style publication. […]

How to Clean A Room

So you’ve read our previous article, “Organization for the Organized,” and you’ve mastered the basic organizational skill of list-making. Tremendous! You’ve accomplished something; you’re off to a good start. What’s next? Well, we can presume that you now have a few items on that list of yours. The chances are, as our diligent research indicates, […]

A New Categorisation of Holidays

A philosopher from the Arctic Circle known as “Jonathan Tallyhoe” has begun a new line of research into the categorisation of cultural holidays and celebratory festivals. Mr. Tallyhoe, who does not hold any authentic PhD’s that we know of,1 claims he is the first to enter into such territory, while following “a time-tested Aristotelian method.” […]

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Corporations Founded in NYC

New York, New York: Tired of witnessing the mute suffering and silent anguish, or, to put it more precisely, enraged and infuriated by the incessant incidences of abuse, mistreatment, and abominable neglect of corporations large and small, seven eminent businesspersons have taken decisive steps to “provide effective means for the prevention of cruelty to corporations […]

Unlimited Universal Credit and Loan Introduces Optional Bills

In the modern world, no one likes being coerced into doing anything. (There is some evidence that people didn’t like it in the ancient world either.)1 So it was, seemingly, only a matter of time before someone did what Unlimited Universal Credit and Loan (UUCL) announced just yesterday: instituted optional bills! Think how much more […]

Fender Bender Support Group for Traumatised Motorists

Anti-Theft windscreen scraper.

The latest support group taking over the world is a bit of a crash-course in handling trauma from minor automobile accidents. A growing number of motorists is finding solace in the Official Fender Bender Support Group (OFBSG), which takes its name from the informal American term for a minor road accident. The OFBSG began just […]

Disclaimers

Have you ever been driving along, minding your own business, and noticed one of those signs on the back of trucks? Not the ones that say How’s our driving? Call 231-231-2312 to complain. I’m talking about the kind of sign that says We are not responsible if rocks fall off our truck and break your […]

New Study Indicates that Text Boxes Are Replacing Thought Bubbles

In his groundbreaking paper “Text Boxes Replace Thought Bubbles,” psychologist Dean Tomey showed convincingly that the time-honored thought bubble is steadily being replaced by the text box. Tomey’s twenty-year study involved fMRI, EEG, and PET scans of thinking subjects of a variety of ages and cultures. These neuroimaging techniques revealed that 93% of thinkers over […]

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