Literature

The Burial of the Rev. George Gilfillan

On the Gilfillan burial day, In the Hill o’ Balgay, It was a most solemn sight to see, Not fewer than thirty thousand people assembled in Dundee, All watching the funeral procession of Gilfillan that day, That death had suddenly taken away, And was going to be buried in the Hill o’ Balgay. There were […]

The Python

The Python     A Python I should not advise,— It needs a doctor for its eyes, And has the measles yearly.       However, if you feel inclined To get one (to improve your mind, And not from fashion merely),     Allow no music near its cage; And when it flies into […]

Lines In Protest To The Dundee Magistrates

Fellow citizens of Bonnie Dundee Are ye aware how the magistrates have treated me? Nay, do not stare or make a fuss When I tell ye they have boycotted me from appearing in Royal Circus, Which in my opinion is a great shame, And a dishonour to the city’s name. Fellow citizens, I consider such […]

A Few Verses for Bakers

A four-tier wedding cake, looks like chocolate and coconut flavour.

If you like baking, here are some suave, romantic verses of poetry to use on a sweet, plump, little cutie-pie, if one should come your way. Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is cheap and so are you. Roses are red Violets are blue Butter is fat and so are you. Roses are red […]

A Tiger and a Killer Bee whose Home was a Cedar

A cat flying with a honeybee under a palm tree in the sunshine.

Once upon a time, there was a tall, majestic Cedar. Except it wasn’t really a cedar, and it wasn’t really very tall or majestic; it was more of a middle-sized palm tree. But this palm tree was named Cedar. Under this palm tree named Cedar lived a ferocious Tiger. Except it was not so much […]

A Man and a Woman

Bill: At any rate, you’ve got to be the only alumna of Vassar College with a beard. Chris: Well, [stroking the luxuriant blond growth] if you were a woman with a beard, you might prefer it if others refrained from mentioning it. It might really hurt your feelings. Bill: In that case, I apologize. Moving […]

Godolphin Horne

Godolphin Horne,   Who was cursed with the Sin of Pride, and Became a Boot-Black.   Godolphin Horne was Nobly Born; He held the Human Race in Scorn, And lived with all his Sisters where His father lived, in Berkeley Square. And oh! the Lad was Deathly Proud! He never shook your Hand or Bowed, […]

The Frog King

In olden times, when wishing still helped one, there lived a king whose daughters were all beautiful, but the youngest was so beautiful that the sun itself, which has seen so much, was astonished whenever it shone in her face. Close by the King’s castle lay a great dark forest, and under an old lime-tree […]