Health and Beauty

How To Make Italian Ice

A small tree covered in snow.

Good morning, afternoon, or evening, depending on when you are reading this. An astute reader has sent us an astute question, as follows: Dear The Flying News, How do you make Italian ice? I’m very astute, aren’t I? [sic] Thank you, Astute Reader Charleston, SC So, here we are to explain to our Astute Reader, […]

Why You Need Professional Sports In Your Life

Image in public domain. Original available at http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Football_%28soccer_ball%29.svg.

This story could just as easily have been called “Why your ears bleed when you sleep upside-down,” because as everyone knows, the editors who write the headlines don’t actually read the articles first. But that’s beside the point. What we’re explaining today is why professional sports matter, and I mean matter in your life and […]

Are YOU a Germaphobe?

How to Tell if You Are a Germaphobe a sure-fire method! You set a timer when you take food out of the oven to determine when to refrigerate it afterwards. You never eat anything that has been out of the oven for longer than 0.75 hours. You clean the seat of your chair with disinfectant […]

How to Grow Pickles

Pickles growing in a garden.

In “ye olden dayes,” everyone knew how to make their own pickles. These days, most people buy pickles from a grocer. But what you may not realise is that pickles are vegetables.1 And vegetables grow in gardens. Vegetable gardens, to be exact.2 Now you are probably asking, “But how does one grow a pickle?” And […]

Signs of Life: Popular Places for Giving Birth

Once upon a time, it was standard practice for mothers to bear their children at home or in the local midwife’s hut (which often included a warm bath, for what nowadays we would refer to as a “Jacuzzi birth”). Supposedly, some European women even sought to give birth in a stable or cave where animals […]

A Solution for Mosquito Bites

Some kind of flying bug on The Flying News.

You probably don’t like mosquito bites. In our opinion, they are itchy and irritating. But there is a solution. Rather than letting the mosquitoes eat you, eat them first. If you’re not convinced of the imminent danger of mosquitoes, consider the following cases. One woman reported a whole host of mosquito eggs laid in her […]

Picture-Perfect Wedding Pictures

Wedding Supper by Martin van Meytens, 1763

By the looks of things, it appears to be mating—I mean, wedding—season again. Funny, seems like it comes around just about every spring. Well, since everyone else is giving wedding advice, I thought I might as well give mine. These days, the really important thing about your wedding is not the dress, not the food, […]

Weapons of Mass Destruction—Postmodern Adaptations

Do you remember the days when you could just walk into a store and buy a jar—no questions asked, no dirty looks, no waiver, no ID, no restrictions. Of course, back in those days—the days when we thought peanut butter was an innocent and entirely harmless food—we used to be unenlightened. Now we’re so much […]