Health and Beauty

Is Homemade Candy on Your Holiday To-Do List? If So, Think Again

Everyone knows you can’t give out homemade Halloween candy. If you try to, it will be mysteriously injected with poison, and children will die.1 But most people don’t realise that the same applies to Christmas. Ever since the Dark Ages, that is, the 1950’s, strangers have been poisoning children. This is why children do not […]

How to Grow Pickles

Pickles growing in a garden.

In “ye olden dayes,” everyone knew how to make their own pickles. These days, most people buy pickles from a grocer. But what you may not realise is that pickles are vegetables.1 And vegetables grow in gardens. Vegetable gardens, to be exact.2 Now you are probably asking, “But how does one grow a pickle?” And […]

Signs of Life: Popular Places for Giving Birth

Once upon a time, it was standard practice for mothers to bear their children at home or in the local midwife’s hut (which often included a warm bath, for what nowadays we would refer to as a “Jacuzzi birth”). Supposedly, some European women even sought to give birth in a stable or cave where animals […]

A Solution for Mosquito Bites

Some kind of flying bug on The Flying News.

You probably don’t like mosquito bites. In our opinion, they are itchy and irritating. But there is a solution. Rather than letting the mosquitoes eat you, eat them first. If you’re not convinced of the imminent danger of mosquitoes, consider the following cases. One woman reported a whole host of mosquito eggs laid in her […]

Picture-Perfect Wedding Pictures

Wedding Supper by Martin van Meytens, 1763

By the looks of things, it appears to be mating—I mean, wedding—season again. Funny, seems like it comes around just about every spring. Well, since everyone else is giving wedding advice, I thought I might as well give mine. These days, the really important thing about your wedding is not the dress, not the food, […]

Weapons of Mass Destruction—Postmodern Adaptations

Do you remember the days when you could just walk into a store and buy a jar—no questions asked, no dirty looks, no waiver, no ID, no restrictions. Of course, back in those days—the days when we thought peanut butter was an innocent and entirely harmless food—we used to be unenlightened. Now we’re so much […]

Thursday, My Lucky Day

Anti-Theft windscreen scraper.

Jim: It’s Thursday. Vim: So it is. Jim: Thursday’s my lucky day. Vim: How so? Jim: All kinds of good things happen to me on Thursdays. Vim: Like what? Jim: I got my lucky pants on a Thursday. Vim: How do you know they’re lucky? Jim: Because I got them on a Thursday. And Thursday’s […]

The Ultimate Guide to Propaganda

Bears don't eat people. People eat people.

If you like propaganda, you’ll love our new book The Ultimate Guide to Propaganda. If you dislike propaganda, you’ll really enjoy our new book The Ultimate Guide to Propaganda. If you hate, fear, and loathe propaganda, then you can’t live another day without our new book The Ultimate Guide to Propaganda. Most people enjoy several […]

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