Search Results for – "horoscope"

Horoscope Contest Results!

Strange illusory hand building a paper house.

As stated in a previous post, our famous horoscope contest was entirely rigged. So unless you send us your contact info again, we will not be able to award any prizes. A certain Jonathan Axelrod supposedly wrote all the entries, which is what tipped us off to the fact that it was rigged; but here […]

Horoscope Contest Closed

The Flying News Horoscope Contest is officially closed.1 I want to personally2 thank all the readers who submitted horoscopes for the contest. It was truly stunning what you came up with, and if you didn’t enter, then you totally missed out. However, I have some bad news: it appears that the contest was rigged.3 All […]

Horoscope Contest!

A white triplane flying in a rarely seen reddish-blue cloud formation.

Horoscopes – and a Contest! Do you like free fortune tellings? Do you like free bumper stickers? If you answered YES to these and other questions, then, boy, have we got a deal for you! To celebrate the almost-anniversary of our twenty-somethingth anniversary, we are prepared to give away three (that’s 3!) free bumper stickers! […]

Horoscopes for the Bactrian

A white triplane flying in a rarely seen reddish-blue cloud formation.

Aries: Your life blows by like the wind in a hurricane. But don’t worry, eventually it will end. Taurus: Ride around on your bike, fall down, scrape an elbow, get back up, repeat. Gemini: Sometimes you just don’t know if your life is worth living. And then you read your horoscope, and you realise, everything’s […]

Horoscopes for the Superstitious

Two awards are better than one!

Aries: You will receive an unwelcome visitor, most likely arriving by air. Taurus: In the dead of night, if you’re not asleep, you should be. Gemini: Your future is entirely unpredictable. Cancer: Yes, still sick. Try radiation. Lego: Traumatic brain injury foils your plans for afternoon tea. But there’s always tomorrow. Virgo: To save money […]

Horoscopes for the Improper

A white triplane flying in a rarely seen reddish-blue cloud formation.

Aries: If you read your horoscope today, it won’t come true. Taurus: If you read Aries’ horoscope today, it won’t come true. Gemini: You’d rather be building a spacecraft. Cancer: Start working on your bucket list. Leo: Oel. Virgo: River deep, mountain high. Libra: Tip the scales, see what happens. Scrappy-o: A bit of a […]

Horoscopes for the Unemployed

A white triplane flying in a rarely seen reddish-blue cloud formation.

Aries: πr2 Taurus: Ford, 2001, a little rickety, but still drives. Gemini: Everything looks a little greenish to you. Then you realise it’s the emerald you’re wearing like a monocle. Cancer: Chronic illness, cause uncertain, might well kill ya. Leo: Remember the bloke with the blue bandana? He’s still out to get you. Virgo: Hopeless. […]

Tell Us What This Picture Means

HELP US OUT:   In our wanderings, we happened to come across the perplexing image displayed below. The funny thing is, we don’t really understand it. Is it a deeply metaphysical statement? Or perhaps an advertising ploy. It might even be a message from interplanetary visitors. Take a look and tell us what you think. […]

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