Industrial Minuscule Reinvents Cubicle Calendars

A sticky note with New Year’s resolutions: Buy Calendar, Read Flying News, Brush Teeth, Wash Dishes

It’s that time of year again. The end of the year. Yes, the END is NIGH. You know what that means.1 You need a new calendar.

Look no further. Industrial Minuscule™ has the calendar for you. And not just any calendar. This is an all-new line of calendars affectionately called Cubicle Calendars™, reinvented for the average cubicle worker of the average modern world.

Industrial Minuscule spokesman and CEO Mark Kram says this is the “hottest calendar of the year, especially when it’s freshly printed, or when you leave it on top of the toaster.” He even sent The Flying News a really nice press release that reads an awful lot like a television advert with some really nice photographs2 attached — which is great for the holidays when we’re too lazy to write our own articles.

The Cubicle Calendar comes in three exquisite models. All three versions feature high-definition photos of 12 or 13 of the slickest, squarest, most cubical cubicle models of the new year, from the top office furniture brands around the globe.

The first and most popular3 model in Industrial Minuscule’s impressive line of Cubicle Calendars is the Standard Cubicle Calendar. Perfectly sized for the Standard Cubicle, at exactly 9 inches square per page (that’s 3″ x 3″), the Standard Cubicle Calendar fits in that one minuscule space left in your cubicle.

The second and second-most-popular model is the Standard-Sized Cubicle Calendar, which is perfectly sized to fit everywhere else a standard calendar fits, so you can have a Cubicle Calendar at home, in the car, at the grocery store, or anywhere else you’d like to be reminded of your beloved cubicle.

A cubicle with a calendar that features an image of cubicles.

The third and third-most-popular model is the Standard Cubicle-Sized Calendar, also perfectly sized for a Standard Cubicle. In fact, it basically replaces the cubicle itself, giving you that oft sought-after look of workplace uniqueness. Your coworkers won’t stop commenting on it, and they may even want to write on it. It’s sure to get you lots of dates, whether you want them or not.



Images modified from the following originals:
1. “Cubicle-in-urban-high-rise.jpg” by DisquietingSuggestion via Wikimedia Commons. CC BY-SA 4.0.
2. “How to ensure you keep your cubicle” by Quinn Dombrowski from Berkeley, USA via Wikimedia Commons. CC BY-SA 2.0.
3. “CubeSpace” by Asa Wilson via Wikimedia Commons. CC BY-SA 2.0.

  1. If you know what “nigh” means, you were probably nigh the top of your class in vocabulary.
  2. Of the calendars, not of him.
  3. As measured by predictive computer models.

Add a Comment Here (This Means You!):

Your email is safe and will not be published, shared, sold, bought, or used to order doughnuts. Required fields are marked *

Note that, in an effort to prevent comment spam and manipulation by computational bacteria, certain words (including a number of brand names) will prevent your comment from being submitted.

*