How to Make a Jelly Doughnut

Someone cutting a dessert.

Easy Recipe – Only Two Ingredients!

Welcome back to another episode of The Flying News Cooking Channel! In this episode, we will teach you how to make a Jelly Doughnut! With only Two Ingredients! What could be better?! Well, maybe a Cream Doughnut. Or a Jelly Waffle? Or a Jelly Waffle Whipped Cream Doughnut! Now, that would be quite a doughnut!

But since this episode is for YOU and not ME, I have to keep this simple. So, we will cover the classic Jelly Doughnut. Perhaps when we get to the Advanced Class, which is normally after about 52 years, we will cover the Jelly Waffle Whipped Cream Doughnut. If you’re still with us then, be sure to check it out.

Anyway, here we go.

The Two Ingredient Jelly Doughnut Recipe

1 Doughnut (plain)
1 Jar of Jelly (any kind)

1. Take your doughnut. You may wish to hold it on your index or ring finger, depending on whether you are right- or left-handed.1
2. Add your jelly. As stated above, this may be any kind of jelly. For example, Strawberry Jelly, Raspberry Jelly, Grape Jelly, Petroleum Jelly, Cat Jelly,2 Pigskin Jelly, Jelly Fish, Jelly Beans, Jelly Shoes, etc, etc, etc.
3. Depending on which type of Jelly you added, either eat your doughnut or put it on display.

Variation: The More-Than-Two Ingredient Jelly Doughnut Recipe

In case you don’t have any Jelly, you could also make your Jelly Doughnut with other ingredients, which may be easier to find around the house.

1 Doughnut (plain)
Fruit juice, Petroleum, or other suitable jelly base

1. Take your doughnut.
2. Place Sugar, Pectin, and Jelly Base in a pot.
3. Heat the Jelly ingredients for a long time, stirring constantly, until they turn into Jelly. This is a magical process, and takes some time, but the results are well worth the effort.
4. Pour your Jelly into canning jars, filling to 1/2” below the brim. If you’ve never done any canning before, ask your grandmother for help. All grandmothers know how to do canning, since they learned it in Grandmother School.
5. Put lids on jars, and screw rings on loosely.
6. Submerse jars in boiling water.
7. Boil about 10 minutes, until all the botulism is dead. This is an important step to make sure you don’t get food-borne botulism, which can be a real headache (well, not a real headache, more of a metaphorical one).
8. Remove canning jars from boiling water, making make sure they are sealed tight (ask your grandmother).
9. Place Jars O’ Jelly on the shelf for a few months.
10. Open one Jar O’ Jelly, and scoop out somewhere between a gob and a hunk.
11. Add your jelly to your doughnut, if it’s still on your finger. If you already ate the doughnut, you will need to get another one.
12 or 13. Depending on which type of Jelly you made, either eat your doughnut or throw it at your grandmother. Note: All grandmothers have handbags, which they also use as weapons for self-defence, so she may hit you with it. This is another thing they learn in Grandmother School, and no cause for alarm.

There you have it, folks. Two easy ways to make a Jelly Doughnut. Feel free to experiment with both methods, or a combination of the two. You may also want to try making a salmon cake.

  1. Note: Right is “dexter” in Latin, which is why right-handed people are termed “dexterous.” Left is “sinister” in Latin, which is why left-handed people are termed “sinister.” Don’t blame us.
  2. Yes, apparently there is something called Cat Jelly.

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