Ultimate Universal Technology Corporation Introduces Universal Portable Fire Lighter

New Product Review: Universal Portable Fire Lighter

Once upon a time (and not that long ago), cigarette lighters were everywhere. You could buy them in stores, borrow them from friends, or find them lying in the gutter. But when was the last time you smoked a cigarette? What with so many places banning smoking in bars, restaurants, airplane bathrooms, and even college classrooms, the cigarette lighter has become something of an anachronism.

But even though fewer of us want to light cigarettes, some of us like to light other things on fire. This, it would seem, was the inspiration behind Ultimate Universal Technology Corporation’s patenting of the Universal Portable Fire Lighter. Available in clean, modern, white (shown), elegant black, avant-garde green, ocean-lovers’ blue, and breast-cancer-awareness pink, this new device is sure to please the fire-lover and pyromaniac, not to mention anyone who just likes to set things on fire now and then.

When we tested out our test model, we were especially struck by the versatility of the device. Not only will it set your campfire ablaze, it also had no problem lighting secret papers, gasoline, and the shoelaces of unsuspecting interviewees. We suspect (although we didn’t go this far ourselves) that it would also do a decent job of lighting up pipes, cigars, and even cigarettes.

“White Lighter with Flame,” by Kimmo Palosaari (OpenPhoto.org). Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.

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