Unlimited Internet Sales Introduces Sub-Prime

The Unlimited Internet Sales Corporation (UISC) recently introduced a new category of membership: sub-prime. This new category joins UISC’s current categories of outstanding, superior, excellent, and good enough.

Okay, you might say—so what? Well, this new level of membership offers several important advantages:

  • It’s free. While even ‘good enough’ membership requires a monthly fee, sub-prime membership is completely cost-free.
  • You will receive your products eventually.
  • If you need help navigating the UISC website, you can click on a nearly infinite number of on-line guides.
  • None of your friends will be impressed.
  • Actually, nobody will care at all.
  • Did we mention that it’s free?

“Český Krumlov – Zámek – 2nd Courtyard – View ENE on Chimney with Funny Faces,” by Txllxt TxllxT. CC-BY-SA 4.0 from Wikimedia Commons.

1 Comment

Add a Comment
  1. Stupid Kid says:

    I joined with sub-prime already! When you buy something, they suggest cheap add-ons like plastic yo-yos, replacement handles for cooking pot lids (hey, that one was useful!), and made-in-China grab bags. Also it seems like you get first dibs on used products that are missing pieces (you can buy them on the other membership levels, but it seems like they show up lower down in their search results – I had my wife test some searches against mine because she has the “good enough” membership).
    Anyway, if my opinion counts for anything, I think sub-prime is sufficient for the someone like me who is, well, I guess, cheap. I’ve never liked paying for the privilege of buying stuff, anyway.

Add a Comment Here (This Means You!):

Your email is safe and will not be published, shared, sold, bought, or used to order doughnuts. Required fields are marked *

Note that, in an effort to prevent comment spam and manipulation by computational bacteria, certain words (including a number of brand names) will prevent your comment from being submitted.