Weapons of Mass Destruction—Postmodern Adaptations

Do you remember the days when you could just walk into a store and buy a jar—no questions asked, no dirty looks, no waiver, no ID, no restrictions.

Of course, back in those days—the days when we thought peanut butter was an innocent and entirely harmless food—we used to be unenlightened. Now we’re so much more self-aware.

And, of course, the weaponization of peanut butter hits a little too close to home now. We tremble at the possible role of peanut-butter in a terrorist attack. And the thought of the harm that peanut butter has done in our schools—it’s too terrible to even think about it. So, in balance, it’s a really good thing that you can’t get the stuff anymore without waiver, a background check, and a colonoscopy.

“Peanut-Butter-Jelly-Sandwich,” by Evan-Amos. Public Domain.

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