After Recount, The Real Winner of the 2016 Election Is . . .

Vim Vocifero
31 December 2016

RONALD MCDONALD!

Voters and politicians everywhere were shocked, stunned, and speechless as the results of the recount were announced last night. Even those who insisted that the initial election count could not possibly be accurate were not expecting this result.

But, as one thoughtful voter from Florida remarked,

Really, this is a better result than we could have hoped for. If there is one thing that all Americans share, it is McDonalds: rich or poor, Democrat or Republican, black or white, beautiful or ugly, East or West, North or South, all Americans share this experience. I hope this will bring the nation together again.

The gourmet-vegetarian alliance has charged that this result shows “clear evidence of fraud and tampering” and called for another recount.

“Donald-McDonald-(Human),” by 根川孝太郎 (Kotaro Negawa). CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

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