Electricity: A Beginner’s Guide

Vim Vocifero
11 August 2016

Have you heard about electricity? Possibly. We have. Do you know what it is? If you do, then maybe you want to read one of our other columns. If not, then read on.

What Is Electricity?

This is a question we have been asking ourselves for some time.1 One day last week, Ryan Rocifero went to the store to buy some electricity so we could take a look at it for ourselves. Do you know what happened? They didn’t give him any. Because of this, we weren’t able to examine it ourselves, so we’re not really sure what it is.

However, even though we don’t know what it is, we can tell you that it tastes (as every current and former nine-year-old-boy knows) rather like a sort of mixture (or perhaps a compound) of cayenne pepper, vinegar, and powdered aluminum. It also glows in the dark.2 And most importantly, electricity powers the electronic device that lets you read The Flying News.3

“XN Power pole 01,” by Guido Gerding. CC-BY-SA-3.0 via Wikimedia Commons

  1. At least five minutes. ↩
  2. Because of legal concerns, we won’t tell you that we found this out by turning off all the lights and making sparks with a wire and battery. ↩
  3. Unless you have your secretary (who is probably not powered by electricity) print The Flying News on archival paper and bind it in a suitably ornate binding. ↩

More News:

Electric Socket and Welcome MatSecrets for Saving on Your Electric Bill Public Domain Image from Howard Pyle's Book of Pirates. Available at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Pyle_pirates_burying2.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Pyle_pirates_burying2.jpgPrivacy Policy Green Electricity By Thomas R Machnitzki (thomasmachnitzki.com) (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsMore Ways to Save Electricity

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