Some Statistics You Might Find Interesting

Vim Vocifero
11 July 2016
  • Largest number of simultaneous nose pickers: 1,293,2991
  • How often the average American™ belches: 17 times per day2
  • Average age at which the average American™ finds a permanent full-time job: 33.45 years3
  • Number of bubbles in a glass of beer: 12,394,1294
  • Percentage of those under twenty who value their Playstation more than their parents: 74.3%5
  • Percentage of boys named Leo who were born in the month of August: 47.8%6
  • Length of time it takes a frog named George to escape from an aquarium (named aquarium) with no lid: 5 minutes7
  • Percent of internet publications with typographical errors: 84.79%8
  • Number of Flying News readers who belch while reading The Flying News: 09
  • Ratio between the total gross weight of all living African elephants and the total gross weight of North American men between the ages of 30 and 49: 1 to 27410
  • Frequency with which children under ten years of age ask their parents a question: between 2,384 and 4,592 times per hour11
  • Percentage of these statistics made up by staff members of The Flying News: 100%12
  1. Simultaneity verified to within .03 nanoseconds. Standard terrestrial frame of reference. ↩
  2. To qualify as a belch (as opposed to a burp or eructation), sound produced must exceed 47 db and last at least .7 sec. ↩
  3. Age measured by atomic clock to within .02 seconds/1,000 years. ↩
  4. Lager beer, poured slowly from a 12 oz. bottle into a 10″ tall glass measuring 1.79″ in diameter at the bottom and 2.0037″ at the top, at 12° Celsius, in typical suburban magnetic fields. To be counted as a bubble, the cavity must be more than .04mm in diameter, as determined by ultrasonic measurement. ↩
  5. Children younger than two are not included in this statistic. ↩
  6. Excluded are girls named Leo, boys named Leod, Leon, Leonine, Leonardo, and Lion, and all non-humans. ↩
  7. Based on fifty-seven frog-escape episodes. ↩
  8. Based on an exhaustive survey conducted by the staff of The Flying News on a Tuesday afternoon when we were bored. ↩
  9. This has been verified by sophisticated software known as biscuits (or cookies, in the States). ↩
  10. This ratio was determined by measuring the effect of elephant and human weight on continental drift. ↩
  11. The larger figure applies when the children are awake and their parents are busy. ↩
  12. However, the fact that we made them up in no way affects their accuracy. ↩

More News:

National Educators’ Association Criticizes Baseball New Study Indicates that Text Boxes Are Replacing Thought Bubbles The Flying News Guide to Statistics G. K. Chesterton on Beer

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