If you’re like most people, you occasionally get “bored.” We at The Flying News never experience boredom, because we work for 12 to 16 hours a day, then go home and work some more, and then spend entire weekends on fascinating hobbies. Occasionally we manage to get some sleep, but most of the time—well, it’s just that there’s so much to do.
But for you, Dear Reader, we have some advice. Besides reading The Flying News, here are a few ideas for what to do when you “get bored.”
- Read The Flying News again.
- Make a “to-do” list.
- We admit, this one doesn’t really help.
- Practice your nose-blowing technique.
- Vary the frequency. Try blowing your nose to the tune of Happy Birthday, God Save The Queen, or another favourite song.
- Work out some insults to use in line at the grocery store.
- “Excuse me, do you always buy such ugly broccoli?”
- “Didn’t your mother ever teach you to smell the watermelons?”
- “Those avocados are almost as warty as you are.”
- “They sell deodorant in aisle 3, you know.”
- “Those marshmallows aren’t going to make you any slimmer.”
- Write your own palindromes!
- To start, think of a word and write it forwards and backwards. Find some letters in the backwards version that make a word or part of a word. Add letters and words as necessary. Mix, rinse, repeat.
- Ruffle elf fur.
- Draw a ward.
- Poor troop.
- Keep a peek.
- Fret simple hot to help Mister F.
- and so on . . .
- Whatever you do, don’t check your email.
- Most of the time, that just makes you more bored, because you realize you get tons of emails at work, but none from your friends.
- Send a Flying News article to your boss.
- Read The Flying News a third time.
- Think of words that start with the same letter as your last name. Write them on your business cards to amuse your clients.
- Start a paper airplane contest among your office mates.
- Launch them from the roof of your office building at the strike of midnight.
- Designated judge measures landing distances.
- Winner gets the cushy chair for a week.
- Write horoscopes for your friends and neighbours.
- A really good horoscope is more about the past than about the future. Or so they say . . .
- Download a new desktop picture for your computer.
And after all this, if you’re still bored, try reading The Flying News upside-down, out loud, in dramatic fashion, with the windows open, to passersby in the street below. And if you know the tune, sing it to them!
“Soir Bleu,” by Edward Hopper. Public domain via Wikimedia Commons.