Anatomy of the Doughnut

Since doughnuts are such an important topic of conversation in contemporary society, it is of great importance for all of us to refer to the doughnut’s parts, vital and otherwise, with accurate terminology. If, for example, you were to incautiously refer to the doughnut’s concavitas medialis as its ‘hole’, you would undoubtedly fail to impress. Thus, in order to avoid serious blunders of this sort, read on, gentle reader, and learn the true lore of the doughnut.

First of all, you must, as in all discussions of anatomy, eschew the use of the English language. While English may be good enough for such mundane affairs as law, international treaties, and The Complete Works of Shakespeare, for such exalted matters as the doughnut, a more ancient and solemn tongue must be employed. Second, you must be sure to distinguish with great care the various parts of the doughnut. Each section and curve has its own proper name, and only the benighted boor would confuse the Humerus exterior dorsalis with the Humerus exterior lateralis.

The above illustration gives an initial introduction for the inerudite. Those who wish to truly attain superior precision in their speech, however, will consult that esteemed and venerable work, B. Jarrow’s On the Names of the Doughnut.

“Springfield NZ Old Donut 002,” by Mattinbgn CC BY 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons
“Point Cloud Torus,” by Kieff. Public domain via Wikimedia Commons. Anatomical labels added.

Add a Comment Here (This Means You!):

Your email is safe and will not be published, shared, sold, bought, or used to order doughnuts. Required fields are marked *

Note that, in an effort to prevent comment spam and manipulation by computational bacteria, certain words (including a number of brand names) will prevent your comment from being submitted.