Having you ever been driving along, thinking of this and that (or perhaps even of the other thing), when all of a sudden, without prelude, warning, or justification, you are seized and overpowered by an urge to see the asphalt directly under your car? If you have, you know that slamming on your brakes and crawling under your vehicle can be a bit of an inconvenience if you are traveling at high speeds, navigating heavy city traffic, or trying to escape from masked and heavily-armed gangsters. With the introduction of its new Underbody Information Cam (UIC), Ultimate Universal Technology Corporation (UUTC)—betting that, even if you have not yet been overcome by this longing, you will want to be prepared, in case you are overcome by it in the near future—has made it much easier and more convenient to take a peak underneath your vehicle under any conceivable road conditions.
UUTC hopes ultimately to offer three models of this camera. The basic model simply streams a picture of the asphalt directly under your vehicle to a high resolution LCD on your dashboard. The super-HUD model supplements the LCD with a heads-up display, layering a picture of the asphalt onto your windshield and alerting you with an irritating chime if anything particularly interesting shows up under your vehicle. The deluxe-super-HUD+ model, not yet available, connects wirelessly to a central processing center, to which it will transmit detailed information about asphalt condition, as well as your body weight, height, driving habits, DNA, social security number, and secret guilty thoughts.
“Skoda Fabia2 underbody 2009,” by Agravain CC-BY-SA-3.0 via Wikimedia Commons.