Swampmen Infiltrate New Orleans

When Gentilly resident Marc Ménard returned to his home on Tuesday, he entered his kitchen and was shocked to find someone who seemed to be himself, cooking dinner in his own kitchen. Understandably shocked, Marc ran screaming from his house,

He then proceeded to a local bar, where he was even more shocked to see a person who seemed to be him, sitting at a table and eating dinner with his wife. Angry and confused, he approached the man and asked him to identify himself. The man, seeming even more surprised than Marc, identified himself as Marc Ménard. After Marc’s wife, Suzette Ménard, prevented the ‘two Marcs’ from coming to blows, they began to discuss their identities. Marc became more and more confused, as ‘the other Marc Ménard’ accused him of being an imposter, and was able to remember every detail of what Marc thought of as his own life, including his Social Security Number, first kiss, and some very embarrassing moments in first grade. At this moment, Suzette, or what seemed to be Marc’s wife Suzette wife, entered the bar, and the situation was more or less repeated.

Both ‘Marcs’ and both ‘Suzettes’ then walked back to the Ménard home, to find another pair of ‘Marc Ménards’ fighting in the dining room, among the remains of a shrimp stew and broken dishes. After the new arrivals had broken up the fight, all six ‘Ménards’ went back to the bar for a few beers, then proceeded to the New Orleans Center for Science and Confused Identities (NOCSCI), where they put their unique case of multiple identities into the hands of the NOCSCI’s identity metaphysicians.

Research by NOCSCI scientist and philosophers continues, but the evidence so far suggests that the ‘extra Ménards were spontaneously produced in a Louisiana swamp, complete with memories. “While highly improbable” explains NOCSCI’s Daniel C. K. Lewis, “there is no reason why an adult human being cannot arise from pre-existing matter, and a swamp, with the rich availability of organic compounds in various states of decay, is the logical place for such an occurrence.”

So far, the six Ménards seem to be living in relative peace in Gentilly. Two of the Marcs have bought a house a block away from the original Ménard home, and the six have introduced a successful comedy routine. Some of the Marcs have been spending a lot of their spare time in the bayou, hoping, rumor has it, to find a few more Suzettes, although with no apparent luck so far.

Photo: “Blue Hole Swamp” by gerry from USA. CC-BY-2.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

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