Clean Trash Technology

While the EPA has given the American landscape some good scrubbings in the past with the Clean Water Act and the Clean Air Act, its latest proposition will trump all these past accomplishments. The EPA is proposing a new requirement for Clean Trash Technology, which experts say will reverse the problems of landfills in America. Landfills have traditionally been seen as smelly, dirty, disgusting, and unfit for human dwelling. With Clean Trash Technology, what is known as ‘trash’, ‘refuse’, or ‘garbáge’ would be cleaned at its source by special water jets and agitators installed in the home trash can, before it even gets collected at the street.
How will the government pay for this? The EPA has decided to make it 100% free for taxpayers by asking those who generate the waste to purchase specially-equipped trash cans or a retro-fitting device for existing trash cans (rather than funding the effort itself). This way, it will not cost taxpayers a dime, except perhaps for a very small percentage of taxpayers who live in homes or apartments and generate their own trash.
Experts predict that with Clean Trash Technology, landfills will now become suitable dwelling places for those of modest means, the rich and poor alike, and may even become popular sites for playgrounds and amusement parks (ideal for the larger, metropolitan landfills). With the many possibilities that piles of clean trash provide for elaborate tunnels and labyrinths, whether you want a hole-in-the-trash vacation home, or just a place to play, it’s all there.
If that weren’t enough, some are even saying the clean trash will be edible and “as nutritious as farm-fresh produce,” so that you can “have your trash and eat it too.” However, the EPA cautions that more research will be needed before it can make a definitive statement on this matter.

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