Non Electric Alarm Clock Winding

Vim Vocifero
16 July 2014
Public domian image, available at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bread-3.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Bread-3.jpg.

In an effort to be more green, Enoch Williams of Fresno, CA threw away all of his electrical appliances. No more computer, no more air conditioner, and no more electric butter warmer.1 He has really enjoyed the feeling of freedom this has given him, and has, in addition, saved a lot of money by canceling his electricity:

Letting go of that butter warmer: that was a real wrench. But after a month, I’ve gotten used to putting the butter in an inside pocket ten minutes or so before I need it. And lately, I haven’t been forgetting to take it out before it begins to melt. (Otherwise, my wife gets pretty angry.)

However, Enoch had one fairly serious problem: he never, ever, remembered to wind his new, non-electric alarm clock. After being late for work twice in the same week, he knew that he desperately needed a solution. After searching for a few days, he eventually found The Remote Alarm Clock Winder Service™ (TRACWS), and since then, has had no problem waking up in the morning.

TRACWS installed this tube in my house. It came through the wall in the basement, just like a gas line. They routed this tube up into my bedroom, and every once in a while, I notice these little fingers coming out and winding my clock. It’s been great.

Asked if there were any problems with the service, Williams recounts one disturbing experience:

There was this one time, late in the evening, when I saw this eye looking through the little tube. Weird, huh? I ran over, and didn’t see anything. Other than that, though, I’ve been really happy with the service.

Public domian image, available at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bread-3.jpg.

  1. Yes, there really are electric butter warmers, and no I am not being paid to promote them. ↩

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