Trans-Fats: Out—Chrome-Plating: In

There have been some significant changes in the American diet lately, and while trans-fats have received a lot of attention, less notice has been taken of the proliferation of metal based foods, which seems linked to recent increases in metallophagy.

Cookies, Cakes, Pastries, and Tarts with a high metal content, or even made entirely out of metal, are now being sold in increasing numbers of retail grocery stores. The Metal-Core Baking Company™, for example, markets an extensive line of metallic cookies with a variety of platings, ranging from the piquant tang of chromium to the luscious and decadent savor of platinum.

Metallophages maintain that a diet consisting primarily or exclusively of metals is more in keeping with both the ethics and the aesthetics of a post-industrial culture. Consumption of biological products dates from an earlier stage of development, when the death of other living things did not evoke the disgust that it now should. Victoria Lamb, Director of Marketing for Ironclad Pastries™ emphasizes this ethical aspect of metallophagy: “Who are we to profit from the lives and deaths of other living things. Even the rotting carcases of vegetables deserve the respect that we owe to all life. The day when our descendants will regard the consumption of vegetables with the same horror that our ancestors regarded cannibalism is not far off.”

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