The Electric Hairbrush

Based on public domain images by Evan Amos, Mehy, and NeD80, available at,, and

Does Brushing Your Hair Make Your Wrists Ache?

Just yesterday, Ultimate Universal Technology Corporation (UUTC) introduced a gadget that—improbable as it may seem—promises to be even more revolutionary than the Z-Phone: The Electric Hairbrush!

The Electric Hairbrush features a 1/4 hp electric motor and is capable of seventeen degrees of freedom. It permanently mounts to the ceiling or wall of your chosen hairbrushing location—UUTC recommends the shower, bathroom, or (if you want to wake up with your hair already brushed) bedroom. “for so many people,” says Mucius Scaevola, head of public relations. “Brushing their hair is a chore and a burden. Even though I only have twenty-seven hairs myself, the thought of having to brush them really terrifies me. I go to sleep shivering, a cold dread weighing down my stomach. But thanks to The Electric Hairbrush, I will not have to worry any more.”

While spending $1,327 on a hairbrush seems like a lot of money, UUTC promises that upgrades will expand the functionality of The Electric Hairbrush. Plans call for attachments to permit The Electric Hairbrush to brush your teeth, to shave your face and/or legs (with your choice of safety or straight razor), and even to perform minor surgery. Eventually, The Electric Hairbrush may even be able to repair your cell phone or computer, perform routine aquarium maintenance, and change the oil on your car.

Image based on public domain images by Evan Amos, Mehy, and NeD80, available at,, and

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