For the first time ever, conclusive proof of Ancient Aliens has been found. While excavating a hidden passage underneath the temple of Teotihuacán©, Tot Tibor, xenoarcheologist at the International Hungarian University, discovered a tablet made of a material that proved to be PVC plastic. Inscribed on the plastic tablet was a message composed of punctuation marks which he was unable to decipher until he noticed a key for translating the message into modern English on the back of the tablet. The startling contents of the message are as follows:
BLEEEP: We are ancient aliens from the planet husTAfphel’quiONxjvZ, which you call Kepler-69c. We have arrived on this planet which you call Earth, and which we call phplunxyYW on 25 April 322 BC, as part of our long range planetary survey.
P. S. That Alexander the Great really knows how to party.
P. P. S. We’ll be back. BLEEEP! !
This astounding discovery has the potential to revolutionize the fields of xenoarcheology and xenolinguistics.