Shocking evidence has come to light in the past few weeks suggesting that J. R. R. Tolkien, world renowned author and Oxford University philologist plagiarized all of his works. According to Cambridge University professor E. Q. Wilson (a noted critic of Tolkien’s work), all of the works were actually penned by a collection of monkeys kept under confinement in the Tolkien household and given access to typewriters.
As evidence, Wilson has uncovered receipts for the Tolkien household’s food expenditures from the years 1936 to 1967. He argues that there is simply no way one family could have consumed the quantities of food purchased during this period. He also shows that the mix of protein and carbohydrate is an exact match with the dietary requirements of the Bornean Orangutan Pongo pygmaeus.